Over the past few weeks I've been working with Bill Weiss at Seattle University in one of his MBA outdoor experiential training courses. On the weekend of July 23rd, the class went to Bastyr University for its weekend retreat. Having been on a similar retreat in one of my Management courses, I knew pretty much what to expect, and was excited to participate in the activities with the intent to focus primarily on observing how the teams worked together - what we did well, what we did badly, when/if we realized this and how we reacted.
These types of retreats are designed to stretch people to their limits, whether those be emotional, physical, mental, or all three. As a participant or observer then, I had the unique opportunity to be see just how well individuals and teams as a whole were able to either work around, or, in the best cases, capitalize on these limits.
There was one girl in particular on the retreat, who made a huge impression on me. She was a person whose limits were a little more obvious than others - she was afraid of heights, a little bigger, and not quite as excited about a lot of the activities in the group as some of the more adventurous people. I had the pleasure of working with her on one particular event which is often the most challenging for people. It's not only physically demanding, but it takes a huge strain on a person mentally. The event was set up in teams of three, and our third member and myself were relatively comfortable with it and very motivated to complete it. We got about halfway through the activity, and the first member began to panic. She was struggling physically and her fear of heights began to paralyze her, but she began to do the one thing that so few people ever do: listen. The rest of our group on the ground were giving her advice, and she stopped and followed it. She allowed myself and our other team member to help her, talk her through things, and instead of just panicking and giving up, she pushed herself beyond what she had originally perceived as pretty impenetrable limits.
What that did for our team, and even the rest of the group on the ground, was more than I would ever have expected. Allowing herself to be helped as she faced her fears instilled confidence in those giving advice, and the other two people on her team. The simple act of stopping and listening helped everyone slow down and breathe, not just herself. The group began to feel more empowered because they saw the effects of their help.
Our first instinct in situations such as this, is to avoid confronting people's limits. If we can find a way to circumvent them, we can skip past any hiccups or hurdles - everything will run smoothly. Well smoothly is great, but it can only go so far. Addressing people's limits, when handled respectfully, can bring a group so much closer and make it so much stronger than just avoiding them.
Avoidance leads to people getting left behind, left out. It's easy, but it won't get you the best results. Creating a network and environment that allows a team to challenge and stretch its limits will foster growth and strengthen and empower your team.
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